"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one."
Men have historically had to have such strong armor, in order to protect and provide. They couldn’t just go around with their hearts on their sleeves when they had to go to war.
They have been taught that they shouldn’t cry, they shouldn’t feel things, they need to “man up”.
Yet, no one taught them what it means to be a healthy and balanced man.
I see that most men end up feeling that they’re damned if they do and they’re damned if they don’t.
As women, we have no idea the ways we are continuously sabotaging what we desire from our partners. I truly believe that at their core, men simply desire to provide, to serve and to be a good man!
I know it doesn’t always look like this. But this is mostly when a man feels like he can’t win. When he feels defeated.
Ladies, I personally do NOT agree with this sentence on any level. But I often hear the lamentation, “Where are all the good men”?
Well, I believe the responsibility is in our own hands.
It’s our responsibility to clean up our own inner landscape.
To address our daddy wounds.
To REALLY look at any and ALL entitlement that we “deserve” this or that. There is SO much unconscious entitlement in the feminine. We don’t mean it and we don’t even realize it.
But we have a lot of work to do (myself included), to learn to un-guard our hearts. To heal the past hurts and learn true discernment, to learn to no longer settle.
If we do not continue to open our bodies to men that are not awakened. They will have no choice but to work it out and clear themselves up.
If we find places of lack within ourselves. We will no longer choose men that are not actually in alignment. We will no longer tolerate unconscious behavior that can set off a chain of effects. Where before long, you’re experiencing the very worst version of yourself.
Again, it starts with first finding the choice to no longer settle and to really learn discernment and greater responsibility for our choices.
We then can find a deep and abiding contentment within our own selves without the need for others.
Then when we do attract a man from this space. Then we can truly be available to love all that makes up his being. Then we can be available to sing to his soul the soothing song of remembrance when he flees in fear to his cave. Because he will.
Then, we can allow him the space to actually become all that you dream. Without shame, blame seduction or trickery.
We can then kiss him in the broken places, breathing him alive. Calling him home.
Calling him, “Rise warrior, rise!”
Then he in return will remember.
He will stand erect with honor.
He will be able to have the space to hold, hear, heal, tend and feel. If we desire a man to be able to really hold us. This goes both ways. We need to take more responsibility.
As women, we desire men to be gentle with our bodies.
Men desire women to be gentle with their hearts.
Our love is all he has ever longed for.
Tyson Esh. To provide and serve, huh? You're funny. I think you're off bass with this. A man needs a partner, not a project. Honor your man and he will stay hard for you; dishonor your man and he will get hard for everyone else but you.
Brandon Andrew. OMG. Thank-you. My heart is so raw and sensitive after this breakup. I did everything I could for a relationship with no reciprocation. I love seeing women who have this kind of self-reflection, sensitivity, and accountability! I remain hopeful! I feel like I’m recovering from narcissistic abuse from a dangerous woman who used me for her own self-interest.
James Gunther LAc. I’ve not had many instances where actually showing my feelings has been beneficial in relationships.
I accept women are more emotionally savvy than I’ll ever be and I believe I’m relatively in tune with myself as a man.
I also know men showing intense emotions can be scary and should be yoked behind stoicism to a large degree.
A partner who knows how to hold space for an epic range of male emotions without weaponizing it, will likely get them.
The men I know are thirsty for acceptance of their truth and sharing themselves. I believe the only way to open up is together.
Shivoso Phoenix. So good! ❤️ IMHO Raising the bar of the standards by which we hold and treat ourselves and each other is a path of growth, wisdom and community: Intentions of mutual upliftment and encouragement. An internal commitment to finding and feeding the proper alchemical nutrients for the others' soul and heart to open and shine. To see it as an interdependent dance in the dojo of loving and living. More “We” instead of “Me” relating. Holding on to oneself, becoming skillful at both self-regulation and co-regulation. Becoming adept at boundary administration and shadow shepherding. That's where the whole experience becomes a rich, meaningful and collaborative expression of Love.
"There are good men and bad men of all nationalities, creeds and colors; and if this world of ours is ever to become what we hope some day it may become, it must be by the general recognition that the man's heart and soul, the man's worth and actions, determine his standing." —Theodore Roosevelt ( 1858 - 1919 ), 26th US President